Most people will experience grief through the death of someone they know at some point in their working lives and sometimes loneliness can be related to that loss, as well as being an issue on its own. That’s why we are covering both issues – grief and loneliness, which can sometimes be related, and offering our thoughts on why employers need to have a strategy to offer support and understanding.
We’ll suggest some practical steps to help people experiencing grief and bereavement as well as spotting the signs of loneliness.
Bereavement in the UK
According to the charity Sue Ryder, around 7.9 million employees, or 24% of working-age people, experience a bereavement in any given year. This data comes from a report in 2020 and is likely to now be higher. Bereavement has a significant and understandable impact on those employees experiencing it, but it can also affect the workplace in terms of lost productivity and, on a human level, colleagues who may not have the experience or awareness to help.
Following the pandemic, the UK Commission on Bereavement was founded, recognising that we need to do more as a whole society to support all those affected by bereavement. As well as the difficulties in finding emotional support, the Commission found that over 60% of bereaved people find it hard to get the support that they need with the “practical” challenges they face day-to-day. We all need to be more aware, and this perhaps inspired the title to their report which you can read through this link: Bereavement is everyone’s business.
Grief and adjustment
Whereas everyone experiences grief their own way, there is a psychological and emotional reaction we experience when we lose someone or something that is important to us. It is recognised that there are several stages to the grieving process, each with their own unique set of challenges and hurdles to overcome. Academics have defined the stages as: Denial, Anger, Depression, Bargaining, Acceptance (The 5 Stages of Grief (Kubler-Ross).
It’s probably true to say that many never fully recover from the loss of a loved one. Instead they gradually come to their own terms. Just as we experience grief and bereavement in our own way, we also adjust, accept and move on with our lives. What we do know is that, as employers, we have the opportunity to play our part in offering the support and understanding that our colleagues need.
Supporting your employees through bereavement
There are two strong cases for supporting your employees through their bereavement. Firstly, the human and compassionate case suggests it’s the right thing to do. When people are at their lowest in terms of emotional pain, there shouldn’t be any hesitation other than offering help in whatever way that is possible – or welcomed. Of course, many find discussing their grief difficult, and some colleagues may not know what to say. It can often be a taboo topic, and employees often suffer in silence.
On a practical level, people experiencing bereavement can’t be expected perform at their normal capacity. They will need to take time away from the workplace and even while ‘present’ they are unlikely to be productive. It’s a compassionate and pragmatic employer that takes steps to help. So, what can you do?
There are a number of things that employers can commit to offering as part of a policy for supporting bereaved employees:
- In the first instance, offer condolences and remove any stresses about work. Ask colleagues to cover but do ask them if they want to brief you as worrying about work may add to their stress.
- Ask them how they’d like you to keep in touch, by phone or email – or if they would like any other contact from colleagues – or not.
- Offer leave and allow for flexibility around workload as they grieve. But consider what you have offered other employees so that everyone is treated consistently and fairly.
- You may find that they want to do some work, it might help them maintain some form of normality – but leave this request to them to make. If this is appropriate, work with them see what they can achieve and to determine what adjustments may be required. But be careful not to pressure them into making any decisions before they’re ready.
- Assess what support would be most helpful to them, for example access to an employee assistance programme (EAP) or workplace counselling if available.
- Don’t forget to communicate any bereavement policy and support you have available. Research by Sue Ryder found that only 32% of employees were aware that any support or policy existed in their organisations.
There’s a lot more to managing someone experiencing a bereavement than we can cover in this article. You may find further guidance helpful in this Acas resource: Time off work for a bereavement – supporting someone after a death.
Tackling loneliness
One of the quotes from the UK Commission on Bereavement is that “bereavement is a very lonely place to be.” Which leads us onto our second topic, loneliness. And it doesn’t just affect people away from the workplace, people at work, maybe even our close colleagues, may be experiencing loneliness too.
According to the Red Cross more than 9 million people in the UK say they feel lonely some or most of the time, with the World Health Organisation recognising that loneliness is a significant global health concern with a direct link to our physical health. Loneliness and social isolation can lead to an increased risk of cardiovascular disease. It can also have a significant impact on mental health – causing us to feel disconnected from the world or people around us and in some cases leading to depression and thoughts of suicide.
Loneliness at work
According to Mental Health UK, loneliness isn’t only something people encounter on their own, perhaps ay home. It’s increasingly felt either in the workplace or by working from home. Their research suggests that one in five workers (20% of us) feel lonely at work on a typical working day. And almost a quarter of workers (23%) agreed that feeling lonely at work has affected their mental health.
Sadly, while work related loneliness seems to be on the increase, many people don’t want to reveal how they are feeling. In a similar way to discussing grief and bereavement, there can be a stigma associated with loneliness. To make this point, Mental Health UK found that 46% of workers wouldn’t feel confident in letting a colleague know that they felt lonely or isolated at work.
While many would probably think that work related loneliness is more prevalent in hybrid workers, data from Gallup’s State of the global workforce suggests that it’s the same whether we work at home or in the office. What’s more, it’s more common in younger workers under the age of 35. It seems that we can spend our time present in the workplace, even running meetings but still not connect enough with our colleagues to not feel lonely.
Spotting the signs
Line managers and colleagues need to be able to spot the signs in others if they are going to be able to help. Typically, these are some of the signs to look out for:
- Spending a lot of time alone and avoiding social events.
- Struggling to join in or initiate conversations and limited interaction with colleagues.
- Long delays between communications.
- Feeling overly negative or more easily irritated.
- Frequent illness and absence.
- Poor sleep.
Prevention and support for loneliness
There are things you can do to help, not just for colleagues or co-workers but also those in leadership roles. Here are a few suggestions:
- Creating team connections: Intentionally creating team connections and ensuring a good onboarding experience can strengthen relationships from the outset.
- Design the workplace to be social: Encourage open plan working, removing barriers to interaction and improving visibility and connections. But don’t forget the needs of neurodiverse employees who may need quiet areas to feel comfortable.
- Encourage a mentoring scheme: Connecting employees with mentors is not only good for personal Development, but it also helps them build stronger connection to colleagues and an opportunity to talk.
- Support your line managers: Providing support and guidance to help managers identify and help colleagues who are experiencing loneliness.
- Personalise calls and conversations: Don’t forget to ask people how they are doing and to chat about their day. For anyone who may feel they want to help someone who they think is experiencing loneliness but aren’t sure about how to start a conversation, please read our article ‘Mental Health in the Workplace – How to get the conversation started’
In conclusion
Bereavement, grief and loneliness are some of the hardest experiences we have to manage and often some of the hardest to discuss. The reality is that many suffer in silence as colleagues aren’t aware, or don’t know how to respond or help. Organisations can help with employee focused approaches that, as well as being delivered with sensitivity for those who are going through a loss, may also in the case of loneliness go some way towards prevention and creating a more open, social and engaging place to work.
Get our guide
We have produced a new Cordell Health guide ‘Dealing with the effects of grief and loneliness’. This is available to subscribers to our wellbeing service. If you are not signed up to this service and would like to find out more, please contact us on wellbeing@cordellhealth.co.uk
