We are thankfully now at a time when people feel more comfortable talking about their mental health. However, the same can’t be said for those with suicidal thoughts. That’s why we’ve chosen to help give a voice to World Suicide Prevention Day, taking place this year on September 10th.
It’s when organisations and communities around the world come together to raise awareness about how we can work together to create a world where fewer people die by suicide. This article is written to enable you to be better prepared to spot the changes in behaviour that could mean that someone is having suicidal thoughts – and becoming more confident in reaching out.
Can you ever spot the signs?
It’s a question asked by anyone who has lost a friend or loved one through suicide. “If only I had known”, “I feel like I should have seen it coming”, “I had no idea, what did I miss?” These are all common emotions felt by those impacted by suicide.
The fact is, many of the signs that suggest suicidal thoughts are incredibly hard to spot, or at least that’s how it seems. When situations and conversations are replayed, sometimes behaviours that didn’t give cause for concern at the time, could have suggested something different. With greater awareness of those signs, perhaps more of us can make that vital difference.
Suicidal thoughts – the stats
According to the Samaritans, suicidal thoughts are more common than we think. You may be surprised to find that they say 1 in 5 people will experience them. So, as you walk through a busy street, or indeed your own organisation, the chances are that one of your neighbours or colleagues has had, or could have, suicidal thoughts.
The sad fact is that for some, suicidal thoughts lead to the worst outcome. According to the ONS in 2023,115 people died by suicide in the UK every week, with 75% of those deaths being male. Perhaps, if more of us knew what to look out for, we could be in a position to help. As you’ll see, it’s not just changes in behaviour but changes in situations that could be triggering those thoughts.
Changes in behaviour
Everyone deals with what’s on their mind in their own way. Sometimes the pressure of work, or of family life, will cause us to become stressed or absorbed in trying to resolve these problems. We may look distracted, but those with suicidal thoughts may display a range of behaviours including:
- Distancing themselves or not replying to messages
- Talking about feeling worthless, hopeless or trapped
- Not doing the things they usually enjoy
- Finding day-to-day tasks difficult
- Managing their feelings with more alcohol or turning to drugs
- Engaging in high-risk behaviours
We know these are not always easy signs to spot, particularly if you don’t see as much of a friend or colleague as you used to. Changes in the way we work including hybrid and remote working have removed some of the social aspects of work that brought people together. And sadly, seeing someone on fewer occasions makes it easier for them to seem OK, or to ‘hold it together’ long enough not to show any outward signs of problems.
Changes in situations
Being able to spot someone at risk of suicidal thoughts involves more than spotting the signs – if indeed those signs are able to be identified. As we know, some people are very good at covering their emotions, it’s really not easy to pick up on how they can feel. That’s why being aware of changes in situations can be another way of identifying those who may be experiencing issues that could trigger suicidal thoughts. For example:
- Anyone who has recently experienced bereavement or loss, especially if they live on their own
- Relationship or family problems
- Cost of living and other financial challenges
- Mortgage, rent arrears or homelessness
- Problems at work leading to stress – which may involve declining performance, relationship issues with colleagues, looming redundancy and cases of bullying.
This is by no means an exclusive list. If you think someone you know or work with has experienced a significant change in circumstances that could pose a challenge, it could be a trigger.
How can you help if you think someone might be suicidal?
Helping someone who may be feeling suicidal is probably the most delicate of situations that anyone could face. They may need help in a number of ways, but the most important start point is just asking how someone is feeling, or as suggested by the Mental Health Foundation, asking if they are feeling suicidal. Asking directly about suicide gives someone permission to open up and lets them know they’re not a burden. If someone feels suicidal, it can be a huge relief to talk about how they feel.
If they do feel able to talk, the best approach is to listen without judgement. Just let them talk and share their feelings. Open questions are best as they encourage the conversation to flow rather than stop. In all likelihood, most people trying to help others will be untrained in mental health. It’s not realistic to think you can solve problems, but being a kind ear to listen, and offer the support they need can make a huge difference.
The Samaritans agree that you shouldn’t try to solve problems, or indeed try to relate to what they are saying with your own experiences. The really important part is just being a good listener. They have developed an active listening model called SHUSH and this we feel is a well-structured process that recognises the sensitivities, and offers helpful questions.
How can employers manage the risk of suicide?
As we’ve already mentioned, some of the factors that may trigger suicidal thoughts can be work related. Employers have a duty of care to workers and to ensuring their health, safety and welfare. According to the HSE, work-related factors may contribute to feelings of humiliation, stress and isolation. They offer guidance on managing this risk, spotting the signs as well as how to support fellow workers should a suicide or an attempt take place.
Often, when we talk about being a better listener, and spotting the signs, the spotlight falls on the line manager to be more aware of their team, and especially those who they may see less due to remote working. While this is certainly helpful, if the whole organisation could become more open about mental health struggles, and with this starting from the leadership down, more people may feel more confident and braver to share their own feelings. The challenge for employers is how to foster a more caring and accepting culture towards mental health, while managing the workplace conditions that may negatively impact on mental health.
More about World Suicide Prevention Day 2024
Being a global event, many organisations support World Suicide Prevention Day. This year, The Samaritans want to show people that talking about suicide doesn’t have to be scary. The International Association for Suicide Prevention want to change the narrative from a culture of silence and stigma to one of openness, understanding, and support. For the past few years, Mental Health UK has adopted the message of turning hope into action.
In conclusion
We hope this article has helped you, and perhaps your organisation, to be more aware of the signs and changes in situations that could trigger suicidal thoughts. The message across the various themes adopted for World Suicide Prevention Day are about being better equipped to spot those changes and help, with listening and offering support being the most important action that anyone could take.
Help is at hand
If you or someone you know is feeling suicidal, you can contact The Samaritans, they are waiting for your call on 116 123 (free). More information at www.samaritans.org.
