The theme for this year is suicide prevention
Having worked in the field of mental health and wellbeing for many years I was surprisingly unprepared for the death by suicide of someone I cared about and knew well. It was “too close for comfort” and reminds us all that suicide happens to family and friends and are never just dry statistics or distressing but distant events.
My fitness coach had suffered from depression all of her adult life and she campaigned vociferously for better awareness, equality and treatment regularly venting her frustration during our early morning Boot Camp sessions.
She had a busy, if not slightly chaotic lifestyle but was vibrant, intelligent, funny and confident and mentally in a good place. However, a new relationship took her miles away from home and her social networks, her work and source of income. Over a period of months, the relationship become fractured, her sense of purpose lost and when, finally the split came, her equilibrium along with her self-esteem became fragile.
She returned home and sofa-surfed for a couple of weeks. Her intake of alcohol increased to worrying levels along with extreme mood swings. Everything that she loved and drew energy from previously became huge, insurmountable barriers.
“Why didn’t you do something?! I imagine you are thinking right now. I simply didn’t know that it has become so serious. I am not on social media sites and I did not see the erratic and increasingly incoherent posts she was making in the last few troubled days of her life.
Afterward there was a lot of soul-searching on the part of her friends and colleagues. We shared a lot of grief and a lot of guilt. In hindsight, we pieced together the signs that we had missed. The signs were there, but only glimpses and fragments which we put to the back of our minds.
Depression is a major risk factor for suicide, although not everyone who attempts suicide is depressed. Certainly, there are times when people have battled with demons for years and clearly are emotionally fragile. But once more, this is not true of everyone. There is no “one type” and nor can suicide be predicted easily even by experts or people who are very close to the person concerned.
According to Mental First Aid England, most suicidal people are undecided, often right up to last minute, about living or dying. There may be what we would term a “tipping point” or a “trigger” but what happens to make someone decide to end it all rather than seek solace in a strong drink, a long walk, a tearful phone call, is far less clear.
What we do need to do is talk far more openly about this big issue in our society. We need to develop a language to help others and help ourselves describe how we are feeling, even when words are hard, and we need to overcome our reticence to get involved. 15 people each day take their own lives. Surely, we can reduce this by being more prepared to step over the threshold and reach out when things do not seem right.
Business in the Community www.bitc.org.uk has published an excellent guide on Suicide Prevention and provides facts, tools and sources of help. Download it and read it; even better, share it in your workplace and start a conversation about the whole topic. You will be amazed by just how many people will then share with you their own personal experience of someone they know who took their own life or made a serious attempt.
As the guide explains, some groups are more “at risk” than others:
- men remain the most at risk group and are three times more likely to die by suicide than women. Talking about feelings does not come naturally to some, or may even be seen mistakenly as a sign of weakness. Some men are less likely to seek help but there is an increasing number of forums and campaigns targeted and men, including Mates in Mind which focuses on the construction industry.
- The suicide rate for women, although far lower than for men, has been increasing.
- Older rather than younger people are more vulnerable. The age group with the highest suicide rate is 45 to 59 years, for men and women.
- The risk of suicide is significantly higher among lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender communities. According to bitc, whilst some research exists into the increased risk, precise data can be difficult to establish because many LGBT people feel unable to be open about their sexuality or gender identity. We know that members of the LGBT community are more likely to suffer from bullying and discrimination at work and are at an increased risk of drug and alcohol abuse and homelessness – factors that affect mental health in general.
- Some patterns of behaviour can indicate a risk of suicide. These include alcohol and substance dependence. Self-harm, which is most common in people under 25, is also an indicator of suicide risk.
- Psychological and attitudinal risk factors include perfectionism, over-thinking, feeling defeated, hopelessness, and feelings of not-belonging and being a burden to others.
So there are signs to look out for and people who may be more at risk. But remember, suicide is complex, unpredictable, not fully understood and could happen to someone you know regardless of their circumstance, background, or disposition. It’s a global health problem and realistically cannot be totally eliminated but there is so much more we can and should do by taking simple steps.
Launched this week by Public Health England and the NHS, Every Mind Matters is a mental health campaign which is aimed at empowering people to manage early symptoms of poor health. Leaflets will also be available in public places such as libraries. But nothing will happen unless you and I make it happen. We need to use these leaflets to inform ourselves and to increase our awareness. Then we need to take one more step forward. We need to talk about it, simply, openly, clearly. That way the stigma will be reduced, the unbearable and unspeakable will be faced and overcome. All of us can play our part in creating a caring, supportive, and compassionate society.
Jayne Carrington, Director of Wellbeing and Engagement.
